Helping a Friend Cope with Loss

When a friend loses a loved one, it is often difficult to know what to do. We compiled some helpful ideas. Showing concern for your friend and being there with a helping hand will mean the world to your friend.

Before the Funeral

1. Offer to notify his/her family and friends about funeral arrangements.
2. House-sit to prevent burglaries during the funeral and shivas.
3. Help answering the phone and greeting visitors.
4. Keep a record of everyone who calls, visits, or has been contacted.
5. Help coordinate the food and drink supply.
6. Offer to pick up friends and family at the airport and arrange accommodation.
7. Offer to provide transportation for out-of-town visitors.
8. Help him/her keep the house clean and the dishes washed.

After the Funeral

1. Prepare or provide dinner on a day that is mutually acceptable every week for two to three months.
2. Offer to help with yard chores such as watering or pruning.
3. Feed and exercise any pets.
4. Write notes offering encouragement and support.
5. Offer to drive or accompany the bereaved to the cemetery regularly.
6. Offer to house-sit so the bereaved can get away or visit family out of town.
7. Make a weekly run to the grocery store, laundry, or cleaners.
8. Help with the thank you notes and/or other correspondence.
9. Anticipate difficult periods such as anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, and the day of death.
10. Always mention the deceased by name and encourage reminiscing.
11. Above all, just listening and your concern and presence will help.

Above all, just listening and your concern and presence will help.